It’s strange
how the shackles and chains
of monetary worry
scurry
when they’re taken care of.

I always thought, if I just had faith, my life, our lives, our purpose, would be able to happen, would be taken care of. I didn’t know how, and I didn’t really trust that it would, but I knew I kept getting the same answer that it would.

And now it has.

And now that it has, I feel even more empowered to go out and do what I know that I should do. It’s interesting how, when I didn’t see how it COULD happen, I was afraid and hesitant to work like it would happen. Yet now that it is happening, I feel more and more motivated and empowered to work as though it has happened.

Part of me still fears. Part of me still worries about the “what if?”, about the “This could fall apart.” And yet I don’t see that it will, because I think there is something vital that I and we are supposed to do. And it goes beyond painting the pawpaw trunks white, and winter sowing the wildflower seeds. It goes beyond marketing Marnie’s books, speeches and work. It goes beyond everything that I’ve dreamed of in the past three years, and believes and works for everything we believed in seven years ago or more.

It has hope in all of it, and resolve and responsibility to do it all.

Because it’s not my legacy that makes it possible. It’s someone elses, a good man, and a God and Savior who saw the end from the beginning. So to honopr him, and Him, and Them, I have to, I get to, get to work.

So what if that means working hard? I can do it! I’ve already felt the infusion of energy and commitment. I may struggle with the physical part — car wrecks will do that to you — but the spirit is willing and confident.

Each night I go to sleep wishing it was morning already so I could get to work.

It’s amazing what you feel you can and should do when you don’t worry about money.