Dump versus Dumped: Romantic Email Haiku

It’s easier to/
dump her than have her dump me … /
and much less painful.

Unexpected Winneconne Bohemian Rhapsody: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

Standing on frozen/
shores, arms outstretched, “Any way /
the wind blows.” I’m there.

Just ‘cuz I’m wearing/
shorts and a T-shirt, doesn’t/
mean it’s warm outside.

Weird,
that moment when
U realize
U haven’t looked yourself
in the eyes 4 4ever,
and U wonder:
“Where U been?”

(Sung to the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer”)

Well I’ve known brunettes
and redheads, accountants and funny ones.
Short ones and tall ones
and ones with hair bleached by the sun.

But do I recall
the greatest lover of all?

Not yet.

There’s so much we fret/
about as young parents. Then/
we learn what matters.

Hearing her cry at/
the end turned it into a/
horrific event.

Dan! I live in my/
old lover’s state now, and it’s/
snowing Christmas Eve.

The thumbnail moon was/
giving me a big thumbs down/
sign but … It’s Christmas!

If I remind folks/
of The Sandlot’s “Squints”, where’s my/
Wendy Peffercorn?