Tag Archives: working through issues

Should She Ask? It’s Simple Math: Revolutionary IMprov Prose

In person and in social media forums, many single women ask the question: “Is it okay for a woman to ask out a man, or ask a man for his phone number, or ask a man to dance?”
Assuming that social norms have changed enough to give women “equal rights” in dating, it boils down to a simple math issue of “if/then” equations.
The first equation is very complicated:
IF there are (say), 1000 [Or insert any number you wish] single dateable women (meaning my age range within 200 miles of my home), AND IF they are on Facebook (or some other place where I can “find” them, such as going to singles activities, dances, classes, parties, etc.),
THEN ASSUME I have enough time in a week to ask out 3 new women (which is EXTREMELY high) a week,
THEN I have the chance to ask out about 150 NEW WOMEN a year. AT THE MOST.
Result? These women have a 15% chance of me asking them out (or a 1.5 out of 10 chance).
Not very high.
If the numbers change (lets say, for example, there are 5000 eligible women, and I can only take out 2 new ones a week, which are probably closer to true numbers), then the results change dramatically (in this case, 100 women a year out of 5000 = 2% chance I will ask a particular woman out, or a .2 out of 10 chance.)

HOWEVER, the second equation is much simpler for both scenarios (for me, and for most men, with some exceptions):
IF a woman asks me out,
THEN there is a 100% chance I will go out with her.
100%!

The same is true for asking for phone numbers or email. Ask, and ye shall receive!

The same is roughly true at a singles dance.
Women ask: “Should I ask a man to dance?”
For the answer, here’s my logic:
At a normal dance for people my age, there are 100 single women.
Each dance song is (roughly) 4 minutes long.
That means there are about 15 songs an hour.
Each dance lasts (roughly) 3 hours.
That means there are about 45 potential songs we could dance to. Already, a woman has less than a 50/50 chance I will dance with her.

NOW ASSUME that I will skip dancing to some songs because I don’t like the song (Boot-scootin’ Boogie, The Lion Sleeps Tonight), or I want some water (I dance hard!). Also assume that, during line dances (Cupid Shuffle, Electric Slide, etc.), I will dance solo. The total number of songs I can dance to drops to about 35 dances.
THEN ASSUME that I will dance twice with the same woman for at least 25% of those songs (one fast, one slow), and you’re down to about 25 potential songs I can dance to with a unique partner.
That equals a 1 in 4 (25%) chance that I will dance with a particular woman at that event.

HOWEVER, if a woman asks me to dance, she will, 100% of the time, get a “yes” answer.
Do the math.

Then ask!

Too Late Understanding Howl: Romantic ImproVerse Free Verse Poetic Lament

Tonight I howled at the moon,
where I had once gathered firewood
for us,
for s’mores,
but now there will be
no more.

Howling and
screaming and
yelling
until
I couldn’t see
through my tears.

Then I pulled off
the road and howled
some more as I watched
my dreams
and visions
and hopes
and the waxing moon
disappear behind a giant cottonwood tree,
until the Union Pacific’s
long,
low moaning whistle
drowned out my own howling
at the moon
and the dreams
that had disappeared.

And when I was done,
when my howling had ended,
I drove long and slow
down that old swamp path,
eye and eye nearly swollen shut,
caked with dust
that had dried up
in these desert fields,
dried up and blown away,
not like a dream deferred,
but like a vision
and a hope
sacrificed on an altar
of obedience
I wasn’t quite ready
nor prepared
to kneel at.