Empty Waking: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Haiku

Waking to a bed/
that’s empty is hard. Waking/
empty is much worse.

Suicide Tendencies: Revolutionary Blogging Haiku

My best friend told me:/
“If I was you, I’d kill me.”/
He doesn’t see joy.

I remember once/
thinking I knew something harsh./
I only felt pain.

Words can
be
powerful.
Damaging.
Magical.
Wonderful.

Those words
are not
“our word,”
but instead,
our words:
Those that we say
and write
right.

Those words
are also heard
in our heads.

Always ready.
Already steadily
knowing.

Though verbose,
I am not
a master of words.

They are my tools,
at times.
But other times
they scream so loudly
in my head
that they unravel,
unnerve,
weaken,
and destroy me.

To become a master
of words,
I must become the master
of my word-thoughts.

People with a narrow view
say “There are no walls around you.”
Their vision is ascew,
and simply not true.

My fences
are more subtle defenses.
Insecurity
is what hides me.

My foolish intensity
is what protects me.
The outlandish things I say
push people away.

Since my youth
that’s been my excuse.
When friendships yield treason,
I can say my words are the reason.

Then I never have to say
“They didn’t like ME anyway.”
Rejection’s never a personal afront.
It’s just my words they don’t want.

So I shield and protect myself
as people put my words, not me, on the shelf.
(and that’s an insight into me
that most people rarely see.)