So So Cali Girl: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

She is so Cali/
that she can’t even put a/
winter hat on right!
OR
She is such a So/
Cali girl, she puts winter/
hats on backwards… twice!

Who Protects Vets? Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

He protected us/
and wrecked his life. Who of us/
will now protect him?

They protected us/
and wrecked their lives. Who of us/
will lift and help them?

I learned a brand-new/
topless driving trick: Semi-/
truck shadow puppets!

He claimed he was a/
bad dad. I said: “If you are/
trying, you’re ok.

“An apple without/
cheese is like a kiss without/
a squeeze.” Cheesehead truth.

When apples are free,/
The Little Red Hen and food/
porn go hand in hand.

When we hate going/
to bed, it’s often just a/
sign of loneliness.

No question from her/
was forthcoming, so I watched/
a marsh-side sunset.

Don’t sit under the/
apple tree… Because you’ll get /
covered with brown goop.

I found my Scriptures./
Now I have no more excuse,/
‘cuz that’s all it was.