Ill I’ll Sit, Doing Nothing: Free Verse Lament

Ill I’ll sit,
doing nothing.

A beautiful sunny,
mid-winter’s day
beckons,
but I,
sinuses backed up,
mouth agape,
feel no urge
to venture out.

Snot pushing up
into my brain
seems to plug
every
and any
thoughts I might have.

Hazy-headed,
I attempt to breathe,
but instead
mearly gasp.

There should be more
to write about,
to think about,
to do,
but this giant screen
covers and prevents
any outlet
of creativity.

My coughing
hurts my back,
makes me want to crawl
back into bed,
snuggle under
warm covers,
where I can’t breate,
and will only think
of how I should be doing something,
anything.
But what?

Looking Back Lamentation

Today
I dusted off my writings,
walked through decades
of thought,
broken hearts,
emotions plus and minus.

Today
I gathered observations,
some of my best wonderings
from wanderings.

Bemused,
I smiled and grimaced
at both the genius
and the foolish silliness
that my fingers
had pounded or caressed
out of a dozen keyboards.

Mostly,
I question
not what I wrote,
nor that I wrote,
but what happened?
Why have I —
my fingers,
my mind,
my soul,
my heart —
gone
cold and silent?

This question perplexes me,
yet does not need to be answered.
The why
is not as important
as the turning from it,
the change,
the regeneration
of the creative flame.
The moving on.

The how?
I’m doing it now.