Going To My Garden: Revolutionary ImproVerse Rhyming Haiku

Don’t bother to write/
or phone. I am going to/
my garden alone.

Facebook Life = Not Real Life: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

I finally learned/
my friend is right: Facebook life/
is not a real life.

What if I, at last,/
am ready and she, after/
this long wait, is not?

What if you perform,/
not for attention or fame,/
but to spread your joy?

Believing I could/
someday see, she bought me new,/
groovy sunglasses.

If she liked me “that/
way,” she’d like my attention./
She doesn’t and won’t.

I never doubted/
the Gospel’s truth. I doubted/
*my strength to live it.
OR
*my faith to obey.

Each time I nearly/
scald myself, I recall how/
she liked to shower.

My first official/
Friday of freedom, and I/
ain’t got nobody.

How can something that/
taste like onions be a cure/
for halitosis?