Mind-Numbing Cold Poet: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

I want to write more/
poems but she’s late again and/
I’m cold and ticked off.

This Is What “It” Feels Like: Romantic ImproVerse Haiku Lament

She said she’d get back/
to me the next day. It’s been/
a week. Lesson learned.

She is so Cali/
that she can’t even put a/
winter hat on right!
OR
She is such a So/
Cali girl, she puts winter/
hats on backwards… twice!

He protected us/
and wrecked his life. Who of us/
will now protect him?

They protected us/
and wrecked their lives. Who of us/
will lift and help them?

I learned a brand-new/
topless driving trick: Semi-/
truck shadow puppets!

“An apple without/
cheese is like a kiss without/
a squeeze.” Cheesehead truth.

When apples are free,/
The Little Red Hen and food/
porn go hand in hand.

Don’t sit under the/
apple tree… Because you’ll get /
covered with brown goop.

I found my Scriptures./
Now I have no more excuse,/
‘cuz that’s all it was.

Such a strange evening:/
Full moon, cow herd mooing, trucks/
moving, trains wooooooing.