Who Protects Vets? Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

He protected us/
and wrecked his life. Who of us/
will now protect him?

They protected us/
and wrecked their lives. Who of us/
will lift and help them?

New Topless Driving Trick: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

I learned a brand-new/
topless driving trick: Semi-/
truck shadow puppets!

“An apple without/
cheese is like a kiss without/
a squeeze.” Cheesehead truth.

When apples are free,/
The Little Red Hen and food/
porn go hand in hand.

Don’t sit under the/
apple tree… Because you’ll get /
covered with brown goop.

I found my Scriptures./
Now I have no more excuse,/
‘cuz that’s all it was.

Such a strange evening:/
Full moon, cow herd mooing, trucks/
moving, trains wooooooing.

When artists dribble/
in corners under their work,/
is that also art?

(Stand on a chair and yell)

You are not your grades!/
I am not my job. I am/
he who you set free.

I have no napkin/
poetry this night. Why not?/
I have no napkins.