Spreading Cheese Happiness: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

I wear my cheese head./
It’s like Kaukauna Cheese Spread:/
I spread happiness!

Being Cool: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

She said: “I’m having/
a hot flash!” so I tried to/
cool her down a bit.

Sometimes when I drive/
I feel like I’m just beyond/
the edge of control.

It’s ironic how/
the song “Under Pressure” makes/
me feel much less so.

I thought I had a/
worthless job ’til I met a/
guy who swept a lot.
OR

I thought I had a/
meaningless job ’til I met/
a guy who swept lots.

Visible butt cracks/
on plumbers or Hog riders /
are not attractive.

When I don’t hear from/
you much, it reminds me of/
how much I miss you.

Having a ragtop
lets you wave at the geese V,
hoping they don’t bomb.

OR
With my ragtop down,/
I wave at the geese V and/
hope they don’t bomb me.