When did “Just one?”
become
a question
setting us numb?
and causing indigestion
when asked,
as aspersions are cast
at mealtime?
Couldn’t it be
just as easily
a statement
that meant:
“Oh, just one!”
as in good?
Like Solomon,
so understood?
Or Just as you are inside,
validated,
with nothing to hide?
Openly justified?
So instead of feeling duress
at mealtime,
avoid that stress:
Think of “Just one?” as sublime,
and joyfully answer “I am! Yes!”
I stuck out my foot and broke her arm.
I laughed ’til she cut her face.
I watched her play ’til a shoulder
blew harshly out of its place.
I held her, gently, down
as needles tapped her spine.
She looked at me, surprised,
and winced but didn’t whine.
I sat there and listened
as she poured out what was inside.
It was my shoulder she reached for
when she broke down and cried.
But none of those childhood pains can even start
To compare to the trust lost when I broke her tender heart.
You, daughter, and I are apart
By physical distance.
By directions of the heart.
By life’s circumstance.
By twists and turns
Caused by poor choices made;
By hard lessons not learned;
By words said and unsaid.
Yet in my heart, mind and soul,
You dwell with me.
Everywhere I go,
You’re with me constantly.
No matter how far apart we may roam
In my heart you’ll always have a home.
The waiting I end /
up hating most is one I/
can do nichts about.
Ev’ryone should have/
the chance to spend their birthday/
alone at least once.
Sometimes all you can/
do is wait, pray, hope, have faith,/
and do all you can.
My Dad tells me: “Be
happy!” He’s never had a
child killing herself.
You may now notice/
that all the people who love/
you won’t talk to you.
I wasn’t doing/
anything so I couldn’t/
get her. I wouldn’t.
Written after my daughter’s phone call from a eating disorder treatment center: “What are you doing that you can’t come and get me?!?”
She felt as though she/
had no control, so I gave/
it back. It’s now hers.
Or
it back. She must do.
Or
… so I quit
helping her escape.
Written after my daughter claimed she had no control in her life, then called me begging me to come get her from a treatment center she could leave on her own.