Two friends
now stand at the same door
I had once entered
and exited, before.
One is heading out.
One might go in.
One is fleeing darkness.
One might embrace sin.
She who is leaving,
(as I also learned,)
knows the folly of entering;
knows evil should be spurned.
I will weep for joy as the one comes out,
and cry in anguish ‘til the other turns about.
He offered to change/
her life. Don’t eat Doritos;/
munch on Davidos.
She broke up with me/
over the phone. Now I feel/
broken, scared, alone.
OR
She broke up with me/
over the phone. I feel scared,/
broken and alone.
I feel loss and lost/
‘cuz I don’t know how to be/
or go without her.
OR
I feel loss and lost,/
not knowing how to be or/
go on without her.
Tonight I howled at the moon,
where I had once gathered firewood
for us,
for s’mores,
but now there will be
no more.
Howling and
screaming and
yelling
until
I couldn’t see
through my tears.
Then I pulled off
the road and howled
some more as I watched
my dreams
and visions
and hopes
and the waxing moon
disappear behind a giant cottonwood tree,
until the Union Pacific’s
long,
low moaning whistle
drowned out my own howling
at the moon
and the dreams
that had disappeared.
And when I was done,
when my howling had ended,
I drove long and slow
down that old swamp path,
eye and eye nearly swollen shut,
caked with dust
that had dried up
in these desert fields,
dried up and blown away,
not like a dream deferred,
but like a vision
and a hope
sacrificed on an altar
of obedience
I wasn’t quite ready
nor prepared
to kneel at.
Why’s dating so hard?/
Either you’re supposed to ask,/
or you just want to.
When I was younger,/
I thought being alone was/
bad, but I’ve grown up.
It is obvious:/
She won’t dance with me. Why would /
I want to kiss her?
When the happy guy/
gets sick, he discovers that/
the world keeps spinning.
Or
the world keeps turning.
The roses were dead once he picked them.
The chocolate, she said, made her fat.
The kitchen wasn’t remodeled like she wanted.
And now look at where she is at.
Remember each time he surprised her
with a new dress that was colored wrong?
Or the theater tickets that were on a bad night?
Or the album that had the wrong song?
Just like that coastal vacation
when she said she’d rather stay home.
Or when he reserved a place at that nice restaurant:
He hopes that she’s happy alone.
She can gaze at her jewels: The few things he got right.
Perhaps they’ll warm her as she sleeps by herself tonight.
OR
The roses were dead once I picked them.
The chocolate, you said, made you fat.
The kitchen wasn’t remodeled like you wanted.
And now look at where you are at.
Remember each time I surprised you
with a dress that was colored wrong.
Or the theater tickets that were on a bad night.
Or the album that had the wrong song.
Just like that coastal vacation
when you said you’d rather stay home.
Or when I reserved a place at that nice restaurant:
I hope that you’re happy alone.
You can gaze at your jewels: At least I got those right.
I hope they warm you as you sleep by yourself tonight.