Service Project Hypocrite: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

When I advocate/
for service projects but then/
I don’t show up? Fail.

I’m Not. Really. Romantic ImproVerse Haiku

I’m not a playah./
Really. I’m too insecure./
I try to be nice.

It’s fantastic* when/
she says that, because of you,/
she can be herself.

*OR
*means so much
*moves to tears

When a woman says/
that you are a waste of her/
time, just believe her.

I will notice and/
connect with you IF you’ll just/
stop looking downward.
OR

I can notice and/
connect with you once you stop/
looking at the ground.

Some make music. Some/
hear. Few dance. If not for those/
few, why make music?

I found a necklace/
most will call irelephant./
She doesn’t think so.
OR
I found a necklace/
most would call irelephant./
I don’t think she will.

I love it when a/
woman’s profile says she’s a/
sapiophile. Smart!

When your heart truly/
is breaking, you can’t really/
write about it much.

I love having old/
men home teachers*. They serve with/
riding lawn mowers.

OR
*ministers.