My Daughter’s Pain Growth: Revolutionary IMprov Haiku

I hear my girl’s pain./
I caused it. I hope she can/
heal, forgive, reach, grow.

Path Change Where Nobody Really Cares: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

There may be many/
folks who are upset I am/
unfriending them. Nah.

The time has come
(the walrus says)
to bid you all adieu.
As I head east
to greener pastures
I hope you find happiness, too.

I’d never before/
gazed into the face of a/
Goddess. Now I have.

Folks told me I was/
scared. Now I’m brave, and they say/
I’m being stupid.

I don’t have running/
water, but with Internet,/
what more do I need?

He often thinks that,/
if love’s a religion, she’s/
a true disciple.

If whiners must move/
gray statues from national/
parks, I’ve land nearby.

If you have* scapegoats,/
you can abdicate what you’re /
responsible for.
OR
*When you use scapegoats,

Remember that time/
God held a solar eclipse/
And no one showed up?