Missing A Poetess: Romantic ConTEXTing Rhyming Haiku Lament

I read where she’d sit/
if she’d come to it but she/
won’t. I feel like shit.

Why Be Victory’s Fan: Romantic IMprov Rhyming Haiku

A man must be her/
fan, if only to have dreams/
to still believe in.

If you were for sale,/
though ambivalent, I would /
not buy into you.

It’s not ’til later,/
after you urinate by/
the lake, bug bites itch.

Or
When you have to pee/
late by the lake, mosquito/
bites show much later.

If he gave her cash/
each place she went, would she still/
be ambivalent?

If he was handsome/
like George Clooney, would she still/
be much too busy?

It’s increasingly/
harder to woo women who/
are ambivalent.

When you can see the/
evening star reflected in/
the lake, you feel peace.

I have crushes on/
pretty women ’til they prove/
they lack English* skills.

OR
*writing

What a Mother’s Day/
gift! I made my mom worry/
about me … again.