I Thought I Was Being Private: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

It’s not ’til later,/
after you urinate by/
the lake, bug bites itch.

Or
When you have to pee/
late by the lake, mosquito/
bites show much later.

She Can’t Be Bought: Romantic ConTEXTing Rhyming Haiku

If he gave her cash/
each place she went, would she still/
be ambivalent?

If he was handsome/
like George Clooney, would she still/
be much too busy?

It’s increasingly/
harder to woo women who/
are ambivalent.

When you can see the/
evening star reflected in/
the lake, you feel peace.

I have crushes on/
pretty women ’til they prove/
they lack English* skills.

OR
*writing

What a Mother’s Day/
gift! I made my mom worry/
about me … again.

I shook the hand of/
a polygamist today./
He is a kind man.

I’m ignoring her,/
of course. Otherwise it hurts/
too much to recall.

The problem with a /
bed-and-breakfast stay is that /
you want company.