Tag Archives: eating disorder

Giving Her Control: Revolutionary ImproVerse Rhyming Haiku

She felt as though she/
had no control, so I gave/
it back. It’s now hers.

Or
it back. She must do.
Or
… so I quit
helping her escape.

Written after my daughter claimed she had no control in her life, then called me begging me to come get her from a treatment center she could leave on her own.

Worst Father Ever: Revolutionary IMproVerse Haiku

She calls, asking me/
to take her from something which/
can save her life. No!
–written 2 hours after my daughter was admitted to a treatment center for eating disorders. She called, crying, begging me to pick her up.

My Daughter’s Daring Gift: Revolutionary Blogging Sonnet

My darling, dying daughter is daring.
Willing to explore her feelings,
able to express her caring
through the pain and suffering she’s revealing.

Though she fears loathing and ridicule,
she loves unseen others more.
By exposing her personal fire’s fuel,
she’s guiding sufferers to a hopeful shore.

Today someone who she’s never met
was lead to read her writings.
As my daughter exposed experiences we’d rather forget
she gave another hope to keep on fighting.

Sometimes a greater love for another just means
we don’t have to die; we just have to be seen.

Written after my daughter wrote in her blog Milla the Night Baker
and someone responded at 5:06 a.m. on October 8th, 2012 saying how her writing was helping.

Dancing With Death: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

I’m dancing with death./
Or rather, she is, and I’m /
trying to cut in.
———————–
Here is a letter we’re sending out to friends and family; Please forward this as you see fit.
Thank you!

Dear Family and friends,

Our daughter, Camilla, is very ill with an eating disorder.Her doctor says she requires residential treatment and wants her to be placed as soon as possible, because her heart is failing.We are trying to get the financing together, but it is apparent that we, her parents, cannot pay for this care on our own. Treatment at Avalon Hills, where we plan to place her,is $1600.00 per day.Because Camilla has no insurance they have reduced the cost to $995.00 per day.Her estimated length of stay is 4 to 6 months. We are applying for help through grants, scholarships and other programs. Camilla’s bishop is helping us with the process of getting help from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

We have received some contributions from friends and family.The bishop has asked that we offer our extended family members and friends the opportunity to help us in this as well. The treatment center, Avalon Hills, is located in Cache Valley, Utah.Contributions may be made directly to the Center and sent to the following address:

Avalon Hills

Attn: Financial Office

P.O. Box 3412

Logan, UT 84323

Toll-free: (800) 330-0490

(Please note that it is for Camilla Kuhns).
FYI, if Camilla does not go into treatment there, they will give us the money back and we will apply it to where she is being treated.

OR:
You may also make contributions through Camilla’s blog / PayPal account, at MillatheNightBaker.blogspot.com

We have been so humbled by the outpouring of care not only in monetary terms, but also in love, fasting and prayers.

Thank you so much for the contribution you make in whatever form it may be.

Love to all,

Ilene Fluckiger Kuhns

DavidG. Kuhns

PS: For updates and more information, please visit Camilla’s blog at MillatheNightBaker.blogspot.com

Thanks To My Daughter’s Friend: Revolutionary ImproVerse Free Verse Poem

I wept so hard I could almost not dictate this.

I walk gratefully,
reverently,
into her house,
where my daughter’s guardian angel
stands watch.

Skin falls off
boiling plums
and young old bones
and her parents tell me
that they would give everything
to have their daughter back.
But since they can’t
they will give me what they can,
what their angel daughter
told them to give,
to make sure her friend,
my daughter,
doesn’t leave.

I stand on an island,
speechless.

It is only much later
that I can weep
tears of gratitude,
for I have already wept
tears of sorrow
for their loss.

Perhaps,
because of their daughter’s love,
voice,
inspiration,
and angelic soul,
they won’t have to weep
for mine.

Watching, Helpless, My Daughter Die: Revolutionary Improv Sonnet Lament

I’m watching my daughter die.
She’s starving her body to death.
Why can’t I even cry?
Why can’t I barely draw a breath?

What brought her to this bleak abyss?
Does it really matter?
All I know is that she’d be missed;
My world would be much sadder.

So I’m putting aside my selfish ways,
my lack of focus and my pride.
I will spend my talents and days
in efforts to fix her dying insides.

Was I responsible for her ills? I now don’t care.
But I know I’ll be at fault if I just leave them there.