Sung to the tune of “Another Saturday Night” by Sam Cooke, also sung by Cat Stevens and others

Another Saturday night/
and I’m stuck on Facebook!/
I forgot an event/
(but I hadn’t paid).
How I wish that I’d gone out hiking*!
I’m in an awful way!

It’s hard on a fella/
when he’s been too long around./
I’ve dated all the honeys/
and all they want is money./
I’m gonna have to blow this town.

(Chorus)
*dancing

A brother once told me/
he knew a sister who was so fine./
Instead of seeing inner beauty,/
she wants to date a cutey/
with his body that is so divine.

Ohhhh (Chorus)
*eating

I stumbled and I fell bad;/
consumed with worldly lusts./
I truly have repented,/
but I may as well be dead/
because they feel no trust.

OOOhh (Chorus)
*to anything!