If I really cared/
about her, I wouldn’t do/
half the things I do.
OR
If I cared about/
her, I wouldn’t do half the /
things I do to her.
I don’t care. I don’t/
care. I don’t care, I don’t care,/
I don’t care. I don’t.
Two grandchildren of good friends have childhood cancer. I am no longer the common link. I wrote this about that experience.
For more information on both, plese visit:
KissesforCami.com and
Beckhamsbattle.blogspot.com
and support however you can.
Our Lives Are Wrapped Up Again
My son’s best friend
is now a mother
who’s going where your child has been
And is.
You may think I’m not there.
You may think
That I don’t care.
But because I care as deeply as I do,
I have respected the silence from you.
I know you have duties and obligations to keep.
I know you have worries and thoughts which deprive you of sleep.
I know that in trying to help at your daughter’s home,
you have felt, sometimes, left alone.
But you’re not.
Prayers are constantly being uttered
for you as well as your granddaughter.
But now this silence I must end
to help The daughter of my friend
and the son of my son’s friend.
For in your daughter’s voyage beneath
There is experience
and wisdom and surviving grief
which may bring sense
And some relief
and insights
and make a dawn
out of the night
and the fears
that bring tears
to so many.
If I had that wisdom,
I would share it,
but I haven’t any
except to bare it
and to show another the way
to the experience
that your daughter and granddaughter have today.
And so, while I respect your pained silence
heartfelt, wide and deep,
please forgive me if I that same silence
can no longer keep.
I have such great news /
to share, but you probably /
don’t care, so I won’t.
She claimed she really/
didn’t care what I did and/
now she’s proving it.
There are many who have done
far worse things
than I have,
who have lived lives
unbecoming of what they should be,
who falsify what
they say they represent,
who are punished less than me.
They don’t care.
When I stand before the great bar,
with my mistakes,
and my sins,
and my lies,
and all the things that I’ve done wrong,
those wrongs which I have tried
so hard
to admit,
acknowledge
accept
and repent of,
will He who is
the great Judge of all look upon me
more kindly
and with more mercy
than He looks at them?
I don’t care.
She claimed she cared for me
but what did she ever see
of my kids’ agony?
My lack of destiny?
My parents elderly?
Courtroom travesty?
Lack of money?
My self-destructive propensity?
She only cared
that for her I was there
when she was needy.