Desired Definition: Romantic Email Haiku

I love it when a/
woman’s profile says she’s a/
sapiophile. Smart!

No Dance Regret: Romantic Email Limerick

Don’t be blue.
It’s true!
I’m sorry I missed the chance
to slow (or fast) dance
with you.

Every guy wants to/
know that the gal he’s diggin’/
is searching on-line.

Weekends, she says, are/
lonely for her. Why wonder/
when she won’t call back?

I asked her some tough/
questions. I hoped for answers./
She left, got yogurt.

You write a woman/
a sonnet, with all your thoughts/
upon it, and “poof”.

We could throw rocks in the lake,/
or watch brats bake/
on the fire/
as our desire/
climbs, like the flames, ever higher.

While waiting for her /
to maybe call,/
I hope she’s as pure/
as those who have no gall.

She’s playing with me,/
but I don’t mind./
For a good woman like rubies/
is usually hard to find.

Of course her name/
could belie her personality./
Maybe it’s just a game./
Maybe she’s just BSing me.

Only by waiting her out will I ever discover/
beyond any doubt if she’d be a purifying lover.

Change.
Change is good.
Change is fun.
Change is.
Change.

I see so many dating profiles where people categorize themselves as being a “Hopeless Romantic”. To such women, I wrote this:

Nobody/
should ever be/
a hopeless romantic./
That would be tragic./

Always be hopeful.
Then life’s more full.
Others will draw near
when we’re full of cheer.

The optimistic me
is who women would rather see.
And it also is true:
I prefer a hopeful you.

It brings me heartfelt sorrow and duress
to watch romantics wallow in hopelessness.