You will get many flowers,
but few chocolate ice cream cones.
You will get many suitors,
but few you’ll want to take home.

You’ll get many earnest guys
who’ll woo you with sincere words.
You’ll get many zealous men
whose attentions you’ll quickly spurn.

You’ll get many ogglers
who will proclaim your beauty.
You’ll get men with no vocabulary
who will simply call you “cutie”.

But when these all have failed the test,
turn to me: the kindest, funniest, most sensative best.