Dump versus Dumped: Romantic Email Haiku

It’s easier to/
dump her than have her dump me … /
and much less painful.

Sweet Worder: Romantic IMprov Rhyming Haiku

I’m gonna be sick./
He is so slick, throwing out/
sweet words* like St. Nick.

OR
*flirts

There must be reasons*/
for silence. For ignoring.
But I don’t know them.
OR

There are good reasons*/
for silence. For ignoring.
But I don’t know them.

(Sung to the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer”)

Well I’ve known brunettes
and redheads, accountants and funny ones.
Short ones and tall ones
and ones with hair bleached by the sun.

But do I recall
the greatest lover of all?

Not yet.

Hearing her cry at/
the end turned it into a/
horrific event.

Dan! I live in my/
old lover’s state now, and it’s/
snowing Christmas Eve.

The thumbnail moon was/
giving me a big thumbs down/
sign but … It’s Christmas!

If I remind folks/
of The Sandlot’s “Squints”, where’s my/
Wendy Peffercorn?

Does she recall, at/
all, laying in bed, folded,/
hearing the rain fall?

She shakes her head, and/
like sunlight reflected/
off waves, I’m blinded.