Garden In The Bathtub Legacy: Revolutionary Family History Prose

Maria Vogt or Weidt GEERDTS, early 1900s, by her chicken coop in Sheboygan, Wisconsin

There is an old family history story that my Grandma Bertha Geerdts Kuhns used to tell me about her father’s mother, a little old immigrant German lady who lived in Sheboygan Wisconsin at the turn of the century. My Grandma Bertha said that this woman (Maria Vogt or Weidt Geerdts) had chicken coops, a garden, but what Grandma Bertha most remembered about Maria Geerdts’ house in Sheboygan is that her large clawfoot bathtub was never used for bathing.

Instead, it was always full of garden plants.

Sometimes I wonder if my great-great Granny Geerdts is looking down on my giant jetted bathtub …
and smiling.

What A Difference A Year Makes: Revolutionary Prose Via Facebook

Facebook has a “Memory” feature which shows you what you were doing some year(s) ago. This morning I got a “memory” from one year ago (Feb. 6, 2017). To set the stage, about 3 weeks earlier, I’d made an offer on a cute little house just southwest of Downtown Salt Lake City. I was well qualified for it, had a decent contracting job as a trainer and writer (which helped me qualify to get the loan to buy the house), and my son was helping me get the mortage. Slam dunk, no brainer. BUT, about the last part of January, my contract suddenly ended. In otherwords, I was unemployed. As a result, the mortgage — which had been conditionally approved — was “unapproved.” And poof, just like that, the house of my dreams (I thought … or at least a cute house I could hold writer classes in), was someone else’s dream house. About a week later, Feb. 6th 2017, I wrote this (then read what I wrote today, afterwards!)
February 6, 2017 · Springville, UT ·
Two weeks ago I was certain I was going to move out of my small apartment into a 3-bedroom little Brick House with one previous owner, less than a couple hundred yards away from the International Peace Garden in Salt Lake City. Instead, last week, the sale fell through and I’m moving out of my apartment downstairs into one room basement apartment. Moral of the story? Life doesn’t always go the way you thought it would. Some may say I brought this on myself. One thing I can say is that I’m grateful for a roof over my head, lots of food in the fridge and freezer, hot running water, a car that works, and children who talk to me, a sense of what I’m about. No, it’s not where I thought I would be. In a lot of respects, it’s better.
This is what I wrote today, Feb. 6, 2018 — What a difference a year makes!
Wow. This memory (see above) blows me away. Why?
One year ago I was pretty sad about not getting the Salt Lake City house. And I was no longer working with Tom-Sircy Maggio (and others) at Eccovia Solutions! But I knew that Heavenly Father had a plan. HE told me things were going to be okay.
So what has happened in that year, from February 2017 until today? Shortly before that first posting, when everything was all falling apart, I started going to the LDS Temple. I decided to go for 100 days in a row. Then I got the impression, which I acted on, to go up to Seattle and work on selling my house in Kirkland. Through a lot of hard work from Camilla Kuhns and her mother, and thanks to realtor Erin Harold, we sold the house in June for significantly more than it was going to get when we first looked at putting it in the market in March and April.
During that time, I also worked a couple hours a day on my book (dealing with my “falling away” from the LDS Church, and how and why I repented and returned. But that’s another story). Thanks to Wendy Tinker, my friend, I had a place to stay to work on the house and the book. I finished the rough draft, and I’m now working on the final edits and getting it ready to be at least an ebook.
Then I felt prompted to go out to Wisconsin to be with my dad Gene L. Kuhns and my mom Anna Kuhns, and work with them. I did that. I also felt like I should cancel my LDS Planet online dating subscription, but not before it expired on July 3rd. So I set that cancellation in motion.
On July 1st, I met a woman online (yes, on LDSPlanet!), a writer (MarniePehrson.com) with published fiction and nonfiction books, someone who did social media consulting, someone who held writers retreats and other events. We started talking. We resonated.
As I talked about how I was thinking of maybe buying a property in Wisconsin where I could hold writers’ retreats, she sent me a picture of her former house, where she had always dreamed of holding writers retreats. The house looked pretty interesting, and so did she. I figured even if we wouldn’t date, we had business interests in common, so I should pursue that.
I decided to meet her, and in early August flew down to Chattanooga. There, I saw her former house, near the Chickamauga National Battlefield. Unexpectedly, it had just gone on the market (it had been foreclosed months earlier). I decided to make an offer on the house, figuring even if we didn’t work out as a business partnership or as couple, it would still be a great property to own. I made an offer, and ended up getting the house.

sunset from the front porch of my rural Northwest Georgia house

It is nearly 800 square feet bigger than the one I was going to buy in Salt Lake. Instead of being several hundred yards away from a 40 acre Park, it is 200 yards away from a 5600-acre National Battlefield. Instead of being on a small quarter acre lot surrounded by inner-city neighbors, it is on nearly a 2-acre lot surrounded by even more acreage and one neighbor about a hundred yards away. Instead of looking out an old small living room window at a neighbor’s chain link fence, trashy house trailer with two large barking dogs, or looking out my back window at the backyard of a small run-down house with garbage heaped everywhere, I look out my living room window at red cedar trees, Georgia pines, and tall oak and hickory trees on a hill sloping down toward a sod farm. Out the bedroom windows, or out my office window, I look across a gently sloping yard full of wildflowers

Wildflowers and my rural Northwest Georgia house – Sept 2017

to hickory trees, and beyond that a well-manicured sod farm. If I walk for about 5 minutes from my large front porch, I come to a prehistoric Native American fishing weir on the West Chickamauga Creek. Crossing that creek, I have access to a 5600 Acre National Park Civil War National Battlefield operated by the US Park Service. The house is several decades newer,

Hickory Hill -- my new house in rural Northwest Georgia, Sept 2017

and I bought it — all cash because I’d sold the house in Seattle — for much less than I would have paid for the house in Salt Lake.
I moved out of a 1 bedroom room in a house in central Utah, to a 5-bedroom home in Northwest Georgia in late August.
Through the course of the autumn and winter, Marnie L Pehrson and I continued to develop a business relationship. We held a writer’s retreat with Denise Lasswell Webster, and I helped Marnie with a Women’s Conference in Southern California.
And we dated. Although the house and the property were awesome, I wanted to see if there might be more.
And there is.
One year to the day after I wrote the first post above, I am 4 days away from being married for forever in the Nashville LDS temple to a woman I love, and who loves and adores me. We resonate not only emotionally and business-wise, but spiritually, mentally, and in many other ways.
Heavenly Father amazes me! I sing praises to Him. I am beyond belief grateful not only for what has happened, but what will happen. The house, the property, the relationship all allow me, allow us, to have a place of Peace, of Refuge, of Solace and Solitude, a place where we can invite our children and grandchildren, our relatives, our friends, our neighbors, and friends we haven’t met yet, to relax, to learn, to explore, to write, to create, to observe, to feel, to connect, to heal, to find peace, health, happiness and joy. Rather than living near the International Peace Garden, I can create my own!
One year ago, I would not have thought any of this was possible. I didn’t even think of it! The vision had not yet unfolded. He simply told me step-by-step what to do. In fact, if you look at the story from both of our perspectives, it seems so incredible that if we wrote it in a novel, nobody would believe it. Yet here we are.
God is good … all the time.

Why Say What You Are? Non-Boxing Advice: Revolutionary Blogging Prose

“I’m a single.”
Or
“I’m single.”
I hear it so often,
it makes me want to
cry.

Why say what you are?
Or what you think you are?
Unless you say
“I am a child of God.”
“I am a son of God.”
“I am a daughter of Heavenly Father.”

“I am a single”
is a statement
about your state of life.
It is
WHERE
you are,
not WHO
or WHAT
you are.

That statement
brings so many
other statements,
judgements,
traits,
emotions.
Most of them
are not WHO
or WHAT
I am.

Isn’t it more accurate
to state:
“I am IN
the single phase
of my life”?

That allows us
possibilities.
That lets us
NOT be put in a box.

There is nothing wrong
with being in
the single phase
of life.
But it may not be
where we are
permanently.

And it is not
who we are
completely.

Because we are
so much more
than single.

Why And How I Create: Decades Of Poetry, Prose, Photography And Creativity

CyranoWriter’s Creativity Journal and Journey

This is a journal of my personal creativity journey. It started more than a decade ago. In January, 2009, I heard a poet read at President Obama’s first inauguration. I thought: “I can do that!” And so I started.

Making a goal of writing and posting a poem or creative piece every day, I put my creative thoughts into this blog. Most are short poems, which I try to make into haiku (they are in the sense that they are 5/7/5). Some are longer. Some are free verse. Some are prose pieces. Some are silly. Most are serious and observational.

Creativity feeds my soul.
(Here is a great piece about creativity from Dead Poets Society / Robin Williams)

During the years since then, I’ve written more than 7,500 poetic and prose pieces. Along the way, I’ve discovered / invented three different types of electronic media poetry: ConTEXTing, IMprov, and ImproVerse. Each of these three has to do with an electron delivery method (phone texting, Instant messaging or IMing, and improv voice recognition.)

Some of my creativity pieces are “romantic” in nature (I was single back then, so a lot of the writings talk about the pathos of that state). Others are observations of either nature or human nature. Many deal with the issues we all face daily. And still others are just thoughts and musings, prompted by my observations of what is happening around me. Some are augmented by my photography. Most are left for you, the reader, to visualise in your mind. All of these reflect how I see the world, and what living and observing and just being means to me.

Can Creativity Help You See New?

My hope, my dream, is that people will read my creativity and “see new”. They’ll think about how they see or what they feel about the things I see and feel. And, most importantly, I hope my writing, day after day after day after day, will inspire others to simply see, to observe the amazingness happening around them, and to use their creativity to capture it in whatever form or style they choose.

People tell me “I used to write. I wish I could write more. I need to write more.” To them — to YOU — I say: “Do.” Because, decades ago, I heard another poet. And then, I did.

PS: My work is in chronological order, with the most recent writings immediately following this post. If you are looking for a particular subject or topic, type in some key works in the “Search” bar (above right), and it should bring up all my writing related to that topic. “Prince Charming” seems to be a popular search!

Should She Ask? It’s Simple Math: Revolutionary IMprov Prose

In person and in social media forums, many single women ask the question: “Is it okay for a woman to ask out a man, or ask a man for his phone number, or ask a man to dance?”
Assuming that social norms have changed enough to give women “equal rights” in dating, it boils down to a simple math issue of “if/then” equations.
The first equation is very complicated:
IF there are (say), 1000 [Or insert any number you wish] single dateable women (meaning my age range within 200 miles of my home), AND IF they are on Facebook (or some other place where I can “find” them, such as going to singles activities, dances, classes, parties, etc.),
THEN ASSUME I have enough time in a week to ask out 3 new women (which is EXTREMELY high) a week,
THEN I have the chance to ask out about 150 NEW WOMEN a year. AT THE MOST.
Result? These women have a 15% chance of me asking them out (or a 1.5 out of 10 chance).
Not very high.
If the numbers change (lets say, for example, there are 5000 eligible women, and I can only take out 2 new ones a week, which are probably closer to true numbers), then the results change dramatically (in this case, 100 women a year out of 5000 = 2% chance I will ask a particular woman out, or a .2 out of 10 chance.)

HOWEVER, the second equation is much simpler for both scenarios (for me, and for most men, with some exceptions):
IF a woman asks me out,
THEN there is a 100% chance I will go out with her.
100%!

The same is true for asking for phone numbers or email. Ask, and ye shall receive!

The same is roughly true at a singles dance.
Women ask: “Should I ask a man to dance?”
For the answer, here’s my logic:
At a normal dance for people my age, there are 100 single women.
Each dance song is (roughly) 4 minutes long.
That means there are about 15 songs an hour.
Each dance lasts (roughly) 3 hours.
That means there are about 45 potential songs we could dance to. Already, a woman has less than a 50/50 chance I will dance with her.

NOW ASSUME that I will skip dancing to some songs because I don’t like the song (Boot-scootin’ Boogie, The Lion Sleeps Tonight), or I want some water (I dance hard!). Also assume that, during line dances (Cupid Shuffle, Electric Slide, etc.), I will dance solo. The total number of songs I can dance to drops to about 35 dances.
THEN ASSUME that I will dance twice with the same woman for at least 25% of those songs (one fast, one slow), and you’re down to about 25 potential songs I can dance to with a unique partner.
That equals a 1 in 4 (25%) chance that I will dance with a particular woman at that event.

HOWEVER, if a woman asks me to dance, she will, 100% of the time, get a “yes” answer.
Do the math.

Then ask!

Philly Memories Of A Jazz Lover: Oral History Prose

I was talking to a friend’s father, a resident at a Jewish senior center in Florida, about his life. During our walk, we heard some jazz through the intercom. As we sat in the sun room, he started telling me about his younger days in Philadelphia. These are his words (with “my comments” inserted), as close as I can recall:

Hearing Jazz in Philly
“I remember going to a club off of Walnut, and you had to go downstairs. We were sitting there, and the side door opened and they had a guy by the arm. They walked him out, brought him to the raised stage and took him up the stairs, and they put his hand on the keyboard and left him. And he sat down and started playing. From then on he owned the place. It was George Shearing. THAT was music.
Duke Ellington and Ella Fitzgerald, I saw them together and separately. They were amazing.
The guy with a different-shaped horn … “Dizzy Gillespie?” Yeah, the Dizz. There was a block of houses in West Philadelphia, and they tore out the center of the block, and he played there. That was a great sound.
Philadelphia was where that jazz happened, even more than New York. They loved to play there, and they just did it for the love… Oh,what music!
The guy with the handkerchief … “Satchmo!?!” Yeah Satchmo. Louie Armstrong, what a trumpet player! He wasn’t known as a singer, but could he play! And the Dizz … when he played, his neck and cheeks bulged out and he would force those notes out through the front, just willed it out.
And Sarah Vaughan… Beautiful! She could sing. And I would be the only white guy there, 2-3 times a week I’d be at the clubs, and they all knew me because I loved — we all loved — the music. Stan Kenton, I saw him. Benny Goodman. Except for his band, we didn’t dance at these places. They were small … and just made for listening.
They would play in the clubs until closing, or we’d go to the Boyd Theater at 11, until 1 or 2 in the morning. Then they’d come off the stage and we’d talk to them, then we’d all go to some bar or someplace and they’d set up and play until 5 or 6 in the morning. That was just for the love of the music! Now you have all these musicians, they have no talent, they just perform for the money. But back then, you could see it, and feel it, they would just play until the early morning because they loved making that sound! That music!
They would all talk to me, I knew them all. I was the only white guy in the place, but they knew I loved that sound. They don’t play like that for the love anymore. And it’s too bad.”

Christ’s Atonement Works For The Repentant Sinner (Me)

Nearly a decade ago I was excommunicated from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for conduct unbecoming a Priesthood holder and member of the Church. Specifically, I broke the trust of my wife, my children, my family and friends. I hurt my wife, my children, and others, and I will for forever regret the pain I’ve caused them. Each of them know I’ve tried to make it better, as much as you can make restitution for something so terrible. (Note: There was NO excuse for what I did. I take full responsibility for it.)
I stayed “out” of the Church for several years (although I kept attending), because I had insecurities and other issues I needed to work through. HOWEVER, I NEVER DOUBTED THE TRUTHFULNESS OF THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST OR THAT THE CHURCH WAS HIS RESTORED CHURCH. I knew, someday, that I would return to full membership in the Church. People would ask me “Why”, to which I would respond: “It is true. I’ve never doubted the truthfulness of the Church. I’ve only doubted my ability to live it.”
During the time I was away from the Church, I dated a number of women, but did things which were not in keeping with the Lord’s teachings as revealed through His living prophets.
About 2 years ago, I had straightened out my life to the point that I felt like I could petition to return to the Church. I also felt like I had worked things out so that I felt confident that I could live the Principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Working with the appropriate local authorities (my Bishop and Stake President), I started down the path of returning to the Church, applying the principles of repentance and obtaining forgiveness through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Since that time, I’ve had a few occasions where women who knew me “before” have told me (and others) of what I did, and that they should avoid me because of who I was. This happened just the other day, again. When this person, who I’ve never met, told me that her friend (who evidently knew me) told her what I was like, and what I’d done, (and thus, she didn’t want to get to know me, as though I was still that way), I felt like I had to write to set the record straight.
This is the content of that email (with some edits to maintain privacy and to improve the flow/make sense) :

Thank you for at least letting me know your logic (of why you won’t contact me any more). It’s always better to write and remove all doubt than to just go silent. Normally I would accept your email, tell you “Thank you”, and move on. However, I feel there are a couple of points I need to make.

1) Who I was when your friend knew me is NOT who I am now. That is the point of repentance and applying the Savior’s Atonement to our sinful lives, isn’t it?
2) I have taken the appropriate steps I needed to, to get my life back in order, and to repent of the many sins I’d committed during the past decade or so.
a) I got divorced
b) Through working with my Bishop and Stake President, and through hours and hours on my knees, I’ve sought forgiveness.
c) Because, several years ago, I’d STOPPED my inappropriate behavior, early last year, through revelation from my Stake President and the Stake High Council (who I had to meet with as part of the process to be reinstated in the Church), I was judged worthy and ready to be re-baptized for the remission of sins and for membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
d) Last Memorial Day weekend, under the hands of my father (a High Priest in the LDS Church), in the waters of Lake Winneconne (where he lives), I was re-baptized.
e) Immediately afterwards, under the hands of my brother (also a High Priest in the LDS Church) and other Priesthood holders, I was confirmed a member of the Church AND given the gift of the Holy Ghost.
f) Since that time, I have been working with my Bishop and Stake President, (he being an authorized representative of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles) (and, thus, the Lord), to be ready and worthy to get my Priesthood and Temple blessings restored (it takes at least a year after a person is re-baptized).
g) My goal is to be deemed worthy, when the Payson Temple is dedicated in June, to be there, and to be able to attend as a member in good standing. In order to do so, the restoration of my Priesthood and my Temple blessings will have to be approved by the First Presidency of the Church, acting as inspired representatives of the Savior.

I tell you these things not to boast or brag, but to let you (and your friend) know that I have repented, that the man I was several years ago has been “put away”, and that through the Grace and Goodness and Atonement of Jesus Christ, I have been changed and been made a new man. That’s how repentance and the Atonement is supposed to work, isn’t it? It worked for Paul the Apostle. It worked for Alma the Younger and the Sons of Mosiah (in The Book of Mormon). We all have hope that it will work for us.
I wanted to contact people I’ve hurt and lied to, and apologize, as part of my repentance process, to make some sort of restitution. Some have accepted my apology. Some have requested that I not contact them, so I haven’t.
I have not only sought spiritual help and turned my life around that way, but I also (as some suggested) sought counseling. I’ve worked on, and continue to work on, fixing the things which messed up my life, which caused me to be insecure, which caused me to do the wrong things I did.
I hope that those I’ve hurt can some day find it in their hearts to not only forgive me, but — most importantly — also recognize that people can (and do) change, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Because of that Atonement, the statement “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is NOT true.
Again, I only tell you this so you can understand where I am, and the steps I’ve taken. There is a chance that we may meet some day, perhaps even in the Temple. In order for the Spirit of the Lord to be unrestrained there, I feel like you need to know that I will be there worthily, and approved by revelation from the Lord through His anointed servants. I have taken, and continue to take, honest steps to put my life in harmony with what Heavenly Father wants me to do.
I am not perfect, but I know that, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I can change. I have changed. And I will continue to change, to follow His will, to be the best person I can be.
Best regards: Dave

Cowboys Overcompensation: Revolutionary Prose

Wearing my Cheesehead over my Seahawks’ hat, my Packers’ jersey over my #12 Seahawks’ jersey, driving top down up I-15, I waved at some guy in a jacked-up pickup truck with HUGE wheels.
Then, one of the great pleasures ever as he passed: Seeing that the truck had a Dallas Cowboys bumper sticker.
Do you think he’s overcompensating?

How To Read Aloud: Revolutionary IMprov Prose

A young relative of mine was “feeling frustrated”. She said: “Oh how I just love being able to read fast and clearly in my head, but if I’ve got to read aloud it’s as if my tongue can’t cooperate with my mind and I stutter like a lunatic..urgh!”
I responded:
You stutter and stammer and feel frustrated when you read aloud because you’ve fallen into the trap of the modern world that says “Faster is better.”
It’s not.
Would you rush a sunset?
Would you hasten the first spring song of a robin?
Would you demand that the maple’s leaves turn bright crimson faster?
The written word, spoken aloud, is meant to be caressed and savored and enunciated and appreciated. Reading out loud is not a race to see how fast you can impart information, but a performance to see how movingly you can paint a verbal picture of what the writer intended, with the word pallet given to you.
Slow down.
Breathe.
Emote.
Experience.
Enjoy.

Don't Start A Snowball Fight With A Wisconsinite: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Haiku and Prose

First came the attack. Then the photos. Then the haiku. Then the prose.
Hey Californians! it’s a bad idea to throw snowball at someone from Wisconsin: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Haiku, 11:58 a.m. Feb. 2nd, 2014
Tragic, ye who don’t/
grasp the wrath of Cheeseheads struck/
by your first snowball.
——
Don’t Start A Snowball Fight With A Wisconsinite: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Prose, 12:31 p.m. Feb. 2nd, 2014
I shall tell the tale of a southern Californian who attempted to engage me, a fifth-generation Wisconsinite, in a “snowball fight”. I do so not to boast nor brag, but in the hope that it may prevent further mishaps in the future.
In central Utah, this “beach blonde” picked up a mitten full of dry Utah powder, with the mistaken idea that simply doing so would form a “snowball”. I warned her that she really didn’t want to start start a snowball fight with this cheesehead. She came close to me and threw the handful of powdered directly on my face. (See photo number one).
Due to her close proximity, my face was completely covered with snow. I then reached down, picked up a handful of snow, packed it into a snowball, the way it should be formed, and said, “Now you’re in trouble.” As she slipped and slided across the field, my expertly-formed and thrown missiles hit her back, her hat-covered head, and her neck, (where of course the snow slid down underneath her shirt on to her bare back).
At that point, she said “That’s not fair! I don’t know how to make snowballs like that!” To which I responded: “Don’t attack an expert. Don’t start what you can’t finish.”
As I drew closer, thinking that she had stopped her aggressive behavior, she once again reached down and grabbed a handful of snow. This time, she knew enough to pack it, which she quickly did. Unfortunately, she didn’t realize that if you’re standing on ICY, hard snow, when you throw a snowball, the laws of physics will probably force your feet to slide out from under you, at which point gravity takes over and you end up flat on your back in the snow.
Being a gentleman, I of course reached down to help her stand up. Again, she foolishly attempted to engage me by picking up a handful of snow and throwing it toward my face. However, she failed to realize that the snow was light and powdery, and it simply ended up going about 2 feet in the air and then falling back in her face.
In such a situation, I saw no other option but to stand over her and help her understand that she shouldn’t attack me any more. Straddling her, I leaned over and grabbed handfuls of snow, and held them above her face, which she had covered with her mittens. I was patient. When she would open her mittens from over her face, I simply let go of the snow and let gravity take over. With her face covered with handfuls of cold snow, (See photo number two) she finally gave up.
A word to the wise:
We Wisconsinites tend to be a fairly friendly and docile bunch of people. But when we are attacked, especially with snow weapons which we’ve known how to create and use since we were two years old, we will end the fight quickly and conclusively.
-fini-