I’m online
trying to find
a must dance/
and romance./

But I get no answer/
‘cuz she’s a tiny dancer./
She’s afraid I’m going to pants her./
She won’t give me a chance no sir/
So I tried good-looking girls/
from around the world./
Do you see me want to hurl?/

Even though I rock,/
There’s always some young jock/
Who’s cougar chasin’,/
Showing off his … sock
It’s so frustrating:/
They should play in their own sandbox.
Give us old guys a chance/
To show what romance/
Would
and could
and should be,/
Would she
See?/

I am the epitome/
of the Renaissance Man/
because I can/
fix her pipes!/
No hype,
and be her type:/
the guy she’s looking for./
I can give her more/
of life experience./
because I’m that man.

But do
you
give me/
The chance/
To dance?/
Don’t you believe in the romance/
I wear on my sleeve?/
You want me to leave?

l grieve/
And not believe/
You’re wanting to date.
You say you’ll wait/
And you won’t settle/
But you won’t test the metal/
Of the salt-and-pepper gents/
Who’s got /
What?
Experience?/

Does that even make sense?/
Some may try that dance/
Because I can give you more
of what you’re looking for/
Because I’ve got more
from my head to my floor
you can’t even reach around
All the me you found.

I’m not asking you to buy it.
I just want you to try it.
It’s not like you have to shop/
At some thrift shop./
But you should at least stop/
In the lane./
It’s no game./

Stop And look
And be nice
and don’t judge the book;
Just sample
the merchandise
No matter how ample
I am
because
if you knew how ample
I was
you’d trample
to get a sample.

What?!
That’s no surprise./
It’s all about shoe size.
Poof
I’m outee
In my Audi.