Judge Not: Romantic ImproVerse Haiku

She tried to gauge my/
spiritual intelligence,/
but hers was messed up.

Turned Down Tamales: Romantic ImproVerse Haiku

Maybe she didn’t/
want tamales, but to me/
they’re mu Bueno!

One goes to worship/
at the Temple. One sleeps with/
others. Such a choice!

Staring at a read/
screen, with no answers in sight,/
doesn’t calm my fears.

How much time did she/
spend on me? How much effort
did she spend on him?

When I see candy,/
I wonder if she also/
remembers my warmth.

With his spilling* still/
in her sheets, there’s no reason/
for me to be there.
Or
*sweetness

I thought I could sleep/
in until she woke up and/
started yammerin’.

She a cool, tall blonde/
Of whom I could be fond./
Does she want to carpool with me/
To see what kind of gentleman I’ll be?/
Or just to save gas?

What if the reason/
I want to meet her is not/
because of her face?